May 29, 2019 about queer non-binary
NOTE: This post is outdated. It remains here for historical curiosity only. For an up-to-date look at who I am, check out the about page.
Hello friends, family, and the internet at large!
For a small handful of you, this isn’t news, but for some of you it is. I wanted to do this in a way that gave me a chance to find my words, and also share this information with everyone I care about in one place.
I’m coming out publicly as non-binary.
For many, it’s not a surprise at all. I mean, I’ve never been a typical cis male. I’ve been at least somewhat gender non-conforming for basically as long as I can remember. Off and on for a few years I’ve been thinking about gender, both in the abstract and as it applies to me. Recently, I’ve been doing that introspection more deeply, and I’ve come to a conclusion that I’ve passively known for a while, but hadn’t explicitly confronted - I don’t feel like I’m a cis male. At least, not all the time. Right now I identify as demimale.
I don’t know where this road is going to lead me, but I’m sure that I’m not at the end of it. Gender is a complicated thing and I have a lot of exploring to do.
This is a thing that I’ve really just started accepting, but it’s also something that I want to tell you, the people who know me. I’m still exploring and coming to terms with exactly what that means for me, how I present, and how I’d like the world to view and interact with me.
For now, I’m not changing names or pronouns or anything (though I am slightly more comfortable with they/them right now than he/him, that changes day to day), so it won’t have much of an impact on how you interact with me or talk about me, but it might change how you think about me.
Thanks for reading! If you want to reach out to me, you can grab one of my (digital signatures)[/pgp] and shoot me an email, or DM me on twitter (@tomastillery).