Work Coming Out Email

April 15, 2020    queer non-binary coming out name change

In case it’s helpful in someone else’s experience, below is the email I sent to the internal all-hands email at work regarding my name change.


GRIMM family,

For those of you that want to skip to the end, here’s the short form: My name is now Tillery, and I use they/them pronouns. Email address and public key are changing.

As many of you already know, about a year ago I came out as non-binary. This means that I do not identify as male, nor female. In my specific case, it also means I use they/them pronouns (rather than the he/him pronouns you may be used to using for me), though not all non-binary people use these pronouns.

I’m sending this mail out to all of you to let you know that, in addition to the pronoun change, I have also changed the name by which I am addressed; specifically, I have removed my first and middle names, and am now going by the mononym Tillery. For many transgender individuals, myself included, the name given at birth is a reminder of a gender to which we don’t belong, and it is fairly common for transgender individuals to change to a name matching their true gender. In my case, that means shedding the male-coded names given to me at birth.

I recognize that adjusting habits is difficult, especially when they’ve been held for a number of years; I don’t expect change overnight. It would mean a lot to me, though, if you would all use my new name and pronouns when speaking to or referring to me.

I’m sending this message out from my existing email account and with my existing PGP public key so that you can verify it, but I will, going forward, be using the email <redacted to avoid spam>, and a new PGP public key (attached to this email) denoting my change of name.

Thanks!
Tillery
---
Tillery
Director, Cyber Training
Vulnerability Researcher/Reverse Engineer @ Grimm
Pronouns: They/Them
P: <redacted>
@AreTillery @grimmcyber
www.grimm-co.com
PGP: 791A E107 1614 6E01 5B12 A051 280A A21F 9480 BD44